Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Welcome to UNIR1 Hypothetical News

A Brief Introduction


From the sick mind of UNIR1 Radio,
We present to you UNIR1 Hypothetical News.
It is exactly what the title says it is.
We hope you get as much enjoyment reading
our blog articles as we do making them.
Below is a list of the Hypothetical News Staff.  
Try to remember their names by matching them to their faces. 
You'll be seeing them often.
 

I'm Stein! The Hypothetical News Chief Editor in charge.  I do the same thing over and over again and get the same results every time.  Here are some of my friends that work with me that share the same lifestyle and see things exactly the way that I do.



 


I. Magi Nation - Hypothetical News Creative director & editor.
I brings a whole new meaning to the word eye.
She's fun loving, exciting and has a mind all her own.
Sometimes late at night you can hear her singing a Temptations' song,
 "Just I Magi Nation. Running a ray wif me."

I always brightens our day with her unified stare and that lemon yellow smile!




Hugh Mongous - Hypothetical News Health Editor.  
We needed someone with enormous experience.  Hugh fits the bill.  
Health is a huge issue now.  
It's Hugh's issue.

The weight of the world's health issues weigh heavily in Hugh's stomach 

and that gives him the ample fuel to deliver a fresh hot story to the plate.








Los Mind - Hypothetical News Spanish Editor.  Los may act like the silent type, but he is no loss for words when it comes to Spanish.  With breath like an iguana, Los has brought us closer to the Spanish community by visiting several towns once a month to do his famous Eric Estrada impersonation. 
 

Los also enters himself in the CHIPS RIDE-A-THON once a year to help local Chihuahua's find work as hand bag accessories in celebrity fashion  and parts for Nationwide Taco Bell Grand opening tours.






Wesley Sniper - Hypothetical News Marketing & Targeting Director.

Wesley would like to stay anonymous for obvious reasons.  He says, "My gun does the talking for me. One shot.  That's it.  That's all it takes."
Wesley is also a master at one liners and celebrity roasts. 
He really kills us with some of the shots he takes at people.

Wesley delivers the news accurately, precisely & on time.





Lord Pope Vader - Hypothetical News Religion Editor.
Since his humble departure from the Death Star, Lord Vader has become the Pope, and since most wars are based on religion & power.  We thought Lord Pope Vader was the perfect choice.












YODA MAN - Hypothetical News Gofer.
Yoda is Lord Pope Vader's assistant and a tremendous asset to the UNIR1 Hypothetical News Team.  "Go Go Gofers Got To Go Go Go" is his favorite song.  

The office explodes with lots of high fives and chants of, "YODA MAN" from everyone on the team, 
as well as from around the world.





 Fun Yung Guy - Hypothetical News Senior Children's Correspondent. Don't let the name fool you.  Fun Yung Guy is a crabby old man from China who teaches children the way of .....well the way a crabby old man would teach their own children.  
"One can only teach what one has lived."
This means lots of short stories & reviews from the Fun Yung Guy's Senior Palace!





Will Vereen - Hypothetical News Animal & Pet Editor.  Will is an animals last testament.  He is extremely passionate about his work and takes the time to sniff out crime.  Animals around the world email Will with tall tales and fuzzy feelings.  Some even describe cruel and unjust punishments.  Will says, "It's a ruff job, but somebody's gotta do it!"








Woody Kutchu - Hypothetical News Food Editor and Critic.  When it comes to fine food, Woody makes the cut! Woody gets to the point about food and just about anything else he puts his head to.  His sharp critiques about the way foods taste, looks and smells pans out a very seasoned recipe for the world to savor.

His newest book internally titled, "My Digestive Track" can be found in the bowels of some of the largest food and cook book chains in the world.







Sir Noah Idem - Hypothetical News Product tester and reporter.  If you need to know an item, just ask Noah Idem. From match cars to large automobiles, Noah will beat it, rip it, gum it, spit up on it and give you the facts.
 

Child Labor Authority gave us a hard time getting to Noah Idem and intervened us at the Airport after flying in from London.  In order to have Noah work for UNIR1 Hypothetical News, we had to supply the authorities with Noah's birth certificate proving that he is indeed 45 years old.









ENIK - Hypothetical News Science & Technology Editor.

Enik was kind enough to join the team here at UNIR1 Hypothetical News.  His knowledge of dinosaurs, space and those funny colored stones that fly in the sky are invaluable.

This rare picture of Enik to the left was taken when he was a tiny little sleemound and well before he was Emperor of the Sleestacks.












Les Flipper - Hypothetical News Sports Editor.

Les is more or less the long arm of the sports department. He skips his way to just about every single event he's assigned to

and brings the exciting news back to us like a rabid walrus in heat. 
 

Les also lends a small hand with Woody Kutchu on his food network.  The two act like long lost Samurai Ginsu Warriors.
It's a sheer riot!






Carrie Paraphernalia - Hypothetical News Branding & Trend Setting Director.
There isn't a line or trend that Carrie hasn't uncovered or snorted.  Carrie carries the secrets to the universe and gives you the tools to pursue new opportunities and joint ventures.  









Well that's it! That's our entire Hypothetical News Staff.

We hope you enjoy all our hypothetical articles.  But, more importantly our open minds to subjects that don't get talked about and perhaps never thought of before.

Subscribe to us on the right hand column and bookmark us for easy reference!


Now look into my eyes.  Are you ready?
Ok!
Let's go!!!

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